Secrets Don't Always Come Out Neat and Tidy
by Erica McSwarek
Summary: Early in Season One, my own twist on the fallout from the blackout. *ONE SHOT ONLY* T for language


This was the _last_ thing she ever thought would happen to her. She'd been a rookie at 15 Division, her dad's old division for only a few months. Her first day on the job she arrests an undercover cop effectively blowing 8 months of hard work for him. Then to make matters worse their Staff Sergeant makes _him, _Sam "no rules" Swarek, her training officer. There was an instant connection between them though, no one could deny it. She tried hard to, begging him off their first night at the Penny when he asked to take her home. It was her first week on the job but then almost immediately she started dating Homicide Luke.

Sparks still flying with Sam not withstanding she tried, _really _tried with Luke. He was supposed to be her safe relationship but then she killed a man. Instead of being there for her, he chose a crime scene, a case that he wasn't even on. Work would always come first with him and she knew that now. She sat for hours sobbing, alone in her apartment trying to deal. She finally gave in and went to the one person she knew could make her feel better. He did too, that is until the lights came back on and she thought about what she was doing. She knew she needed to break things off with Luke; it wasn't fair to either one of them anymore. But Sam misunderstood her need to leave and walked out.

She went to Luke's and was honest with him about everything. He was angry and couldn't, he _wouldn't _believe that she wanted it to be over. Especially that she wanted to be with Sam Swarek of all people. He got his revenge a week later by asking Sam to make sure Andy got out of work early that day so they could go to his fishing cabin. Andy had been off for a week and Sam didn't know they had broken up.

All of that is how Andy found herself where she was now, sitting on her sofa with her Staff Sergeant and Oliver. A week or so after Sam brushed her off and wouldn't listen she started seeing a guy from 27 that she had gone through the academy with. He was nice enough and she didn't have to worry about seeing him every day at work. Tonight they had been at the Penny hanging out with their friends. A few of the guys from 15 came over to say hi and hug her, nothing unusual. They had a bit too much to drink so they took a cab back to Andy's because it was closer.

He changed completely; started yelling at her about sleeping around, grabbed her hard by the arms, and when she tried to pull away he hit her. Little did either one of them know, her neighbor had already called the police when he started yelling. When Frank heard it was officer involved he headed over immediately, completely thrown that it was Andy. She wouldn't let him call her dad so he called Oliver, who came over without hesitating. He took Andy's statement about what happened as Raines was cuffed and taken back to their division.

Andy sighed heavily as she pulled open the door to station. She hadn't slept good the night before, it was well after 2:00 a.m. before everything was wrapped up. All she could think about was Sam because she knows he'll notice right away and she just doesn't feel like dealing with him. Two steps from the locker room and he appears from the bullpen heading for the Men's. "Morning McNally! Decided to grace us with your presence at a reasonable time this morning?"

She has to respond because things are tense enough between them as it is; the blackout debacle and retrain feel like they were only days ago but truthfully it's been four weeks. Taking a deep breath and turning around she said. "Funny sir."

He smirked and nodded towards her. "Too much to drink with the other rookies last night?"

She was glad he couldn't see through her aviators but her lip chewing gave her away. "Umm. Yeah. Sure. Too much to drink." And with that she ducked into the locker room.

He knew she was lying, even though she slipped away he vowed he'd get it out of her during their shift. Oliver was already changing when he walked in.

Andy was so glad Traci was there. "Trac, did you bring the makeup?"

Her best friend nodded. "Are you ok?" She watched as Andy worried her bottom lip between her teeth but she nodded. "Really ok, or Andy McNally ok?"

Andy had called Traci last night after the accident or incident depending on who you asked. She shrugged and threw herself down on the bench. "I don't know." She fidgeted and finally looked up, sliding off her glasses. "Do you think you can fix it?"

Traci gasped and flinched when she saw her friend's shiner. "Jesus Andy. I...I think I can." She pulled her makeup bag out and went to work. "What are you going to tell Sam?"

Andy tensed up again. "Nothing. H...He doesn't need to know anything."

Traci sighed and shook her head. "Andy sweetie, he's your partner. He's going to notice."

She shook her head. "I talked to Frank last night and he's going to put me with Oliver for a few days." Traci gave her the motherly look. "Trac, it's only for a few days. Sam and I are already on rocky terms as it is."

She shook her head. "I try to stay out of things between you and Sam but this is wrong Andy. If things are as rocky as you say they are, _this_ isn't going to help."

She knew Trac was right but she knew Sam would lose his badge if she told him how she'd gotten her black eye. "I know but I just, I can't let something happen to him because of me. You know he wouldn't take this very well."

Traci nodded because she knew Sam would do anything for Andy. "Ok. Fine but...just...I don't know; if he asks just don't lie to him. Ok?"

Andy agreed. Traci did a really good job with the concealer and you could barely tell. They walked out together and when they entered the bullpen Frank stepped out of his office. "McNally! Shaw! My office."

Sam had been standing next to Oliver when he was beckoned. "What's that about brother?"

Oliver hated more than anything to lie to Sam but he had to, shrugging he said. "I don't know."

He met Andy at the steps and walked in behind her. Frank looked pissed and concerned. "McNally, you ok?" She shrugged. "Let me see."

She nodded as she removed her sunglasses and chewed on her bottom lip. "I'll be fine sir. Thank you."

He half laughed. "You're too tough for your own good Andy." He glanced out into the bullpen and caught Sam watching. "Nash did a good job but you know this isn't going to be easy to hide, right?"

She knew that people, even her Staff Sergeant, knew things were tense with Sam. "Yes sir and I won't ask either of you to lie for me. I know he's your best friend and that wouldn't be fair."

Oliver had had a fatherly relationship with Andy since she started and right now he wanted to beat the guy to death. "McN...Andy, the last thing _any _of us need is to make this situation worse than it already is. Please tell me you at least filed a complaint against the guy?" She nodded. "Good. You can ride with me until your eye looks better."

She hung her head. "And Sam?"

Frank scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed. "Let me worry about Sammy. I'll...I don't know...I'll think of something. It's not that unusual to move partners around. I'll put him with Nash for a few days."

She really hated putting them in the middle of things. "I...I'm really sorry sir. I just...it's so embarrassing. I'm a cop for crying out loud. I should've sensed something was wrong. I just...I didn't know...didn't think..."

Oliver squeezed her shoulder. "It's not your fault Andy. You know that."

Frank walked around to the front of his desk. "Andy, don't do this to yourself. _He _is responsible for this not you. Ok?"

She finally nodded. "Yeah. Ok."

It was time for Parade. "Ok you two. Let's get this over with."

Andy sighed and went to put her sunglasses back on. Oliver stopped her. "It looks fine. You don't need them."

She gave him a weak smile. "Thanks Oliver."

He patted her on the shoulder and nodded towards the door. "No problem."

Andy stood in the back with him away from everyone else. When Frank gave out assignments Sam's head snapped around to her when he heard she was riding with Oliver. He knew things had been tense with them but he thought they were keeping it out of work. He hadn't even said anything about the guy from 27 that she had been seeing. He watched her through the rest of Parade, something was different about her but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

He didn't even get a chance to talk to her afterwards because Oliver swooped her out saying that they should get coffee from Al's. He was however, glad that he had been partnered with Nash for the day. She was the quietest of the rookies. Not much was said between them until they got called to a multicar accident on the edge of 15/27.

Andy took a deep breath and hoped they didn't run into Jason while they were there. Oliver heard the sigh and gripped the steering wheel harder. He took his own deep breath and hoped that things didn't go sideways. All he could think of was what if had been one of his daughters. They got out and started checking on people, the officers from 27 were doing the same thing. It didn't take long to figure out Jason Raines was on scene.

Oliver saw him approach Andy as Sam and Traci pulled up to help out. Andy stepped back. "You need to leave me alone."

He held up his hands. "Andy, I'm really sorry about what happened. I just...I've never done that before. I drank too much and..."

She wanted to punch him so bad. "It doesn't _matter_ how much you drank Jason. You hit me." Oliver had made his way over because he saw Sam eyeballing them.

He stepped between them. "Raines, get lost."

Jason shook his head. "This is between me and Andy."

Oliver put his hand on his chest. "Not when you lay your hands on her. _Then_ it is between me, you and her."

Andy had never heard Oliver sound so angry. She took him by the elbow. "Oliver, it's not worth it. Please?"

Sam finally makes his way over. "Everything ok over here buddy?"

That snapped Oliver out of it quickly. He clapped Sam on the back. "Sure thing brother, we were just discussing who gets what of this mess. No worries."

Sam knew that this was the guy Andy had been seeing and that Oliver's explanation wasn't all of it but nodded anyway. "Ok then."

Jason knew it was time to go. Swarek was Andy's usual partner and he had a reputation. "I guess we'll stick with the cars on that side of the light and you guys get these." With that he walked away.

They took statements while CSU did their thing. Sam walked over to their cruiser. "You guys had lunch yet?" He knew Oliver would eat anytime.

Andy looked to Oliver and he said. "We ate before the call but thanks buddy. Come on McNally, we should get back out there." He clapped Sam on the shoulder. "See you at the Penny Sammy."

He could only nod; something was definitely up because Oliver _never_ turned down food. "Yeah. Ok." Traci walked over as Oliver and Andy were leaving. "Hey Nash?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes sir?"

He turned to see her nervous expression before it disappeared quickly. "What's going on with McNally?" Traci shrugged. "There's something different about her today. You're her best friend."

She was so glad that Swarek couldn't read her like he could Andy. "Far as I know everything is ok." He eyeballed her but she didn't break. "Didn't I hear something about lunch?"

He shook his head and chuckled. "I suppose you want some of that weird meat that Jerry's always getting you?" She smiled big and nodded. "What the hell, let's go."

Traci laughed as they climbed in the cruiser and went in search of the Bulgogi truck. The light mood between the temporary partners vanished when they saw Oliver and Andy pulling away from it. Traci didn't even attempt to say anything; she could see Sam's knuckles turn white as he death gripped the steering wheel and growled. He actually _growled_ a little which honestly was a little unnerving.

He was really pissed now. Things hadn't been right between them but this, _this _was getting ridiculous. They didn't run into them again for the rest of the shift and Traci thought that was probably a good thing.

Sam knew she was still in the locker room because she'd had to go dumpster diving on the last call with Shaw. He barely knocked as he walked in. "McNally? You decent?"

He really doesn't even wait for her answer, is fairly certain he hears her curse too. He catches her quickly pulling a long sleeve t-shirt over her head but he sees the corner of a bruise. "Jesus Sam! Come on in why don't you?"

He stands a few feet away as he sees her slip on her sunglasses. "What was that on your arm?"

She shrugs. "I ran into something. No big deal."

He reaches out and gently grabs her arm causing her to yelp a little. "Andy?"

She shrugs him off. "What do you want?"

He sighs as he stuffs his hands in his pockets, real concern coming out. "Are you ok?"

She puts on her best face as she turns to him while putting her hair up. "Why do you even care? 'It was what it was' remember?"

He hated those words the moment they came out of his mouth and her saying them a second time to him didn't feel any better. "Is that why you're seeing the guy from 27? Because it was what it was?"

She couldn't help that those words affected her. A single tear rolled down her cheek. "That was YOUR decision Sam. Not mine. I came to work that morning to tell you that I broke it off with Luke. But you and your damn stubborn pride wouldn't let me finish. Then you blew me off when I needed you."

He hated himself enough for that day and how he had treated her. "I'm sorry Andy. I really am and it was more for me too I just didn't know how to handle myself especially when Callaghan asked me to make sure you got out in time."

She hadn't understood to begin with why Sam had blown her off until Luke cornered her about Simcoe, trying to work things out and saying that Sam had given his blessing. She couldn't stand there with him any longer otherwise she'd tell him everything, completely bare her soul. "I gotta go Sam. Traci's waiting on me." She walked a few steps past him. "I'm sorry too if it helps any."

She left him standing in the locker room. Traci was waiting in her car and they drove to the Penny. Andy used cover up on her eye up so she didn't have to wear her sunglasses at 10:00 at night. To her surprise Oliver and Jerry joined them. Sam came walking in not long after them.

He knew she'd be here and hoped he could talk to her some more. He scanned the bar when he walked in and his friends weren't in their usual spot. He was a little surprised to find them at the rookie table when he looked over.

Oliver knew it might be a bad idea but he wasn't going to leave either one of them alone. He squeezed Andy's arm as he yelled. "Sammy! Come on and join us." Hoping that having all of their friends there would be a good buffer.

Sam was hesitant but that was part of the problem. Inside he wanted to chase Andy to the ends of the Earth but he always hesitated because he was scared; scared she wouldn't want him, scared that he wouldn't be enough, just scared of every single damn thing that had to do with her.

He ordered a round for the table before reluctantly walking over. Oliver made a space between him and Jerry. One of the servers brought the tray of drinks that Sam ordered and everyone thanked him. The conversation flowed pretty well among all of them. He couldn't take his eyes off her no matter what the conversation was about and Andy squirmed under his intense stare.

After a couple of hours Andy was finally rescued by Traci. "You ready to go?"

She let out a slow relieved breath and nodded. "Yeah. Thanks. See you guys later." She looked to Sam. "Thanks for the drink." He gave her a single nod and watched her walk away.

Andy was so happy to be home, she could finally relax. She went back to her room, changed onto a tank top and sweats then washed her face. She was surprised when there was a knock at her door. Unfortunately she didn't have a peephole so she had to open it to see who was there. She however wasn't expecting it to be Sam. She only opened it a crack and hid her bad eye. "Sam, what are you doing here?"

He shrugged because he really wasn't sure. "I think we need to talk more." Shaking his head. "We _need_ to talk more."

She hung her head. "No." She tried to close the door but he put his hand on it.

He hated when she shut him out. "Andy please? I don't know what's going on and I don't like it when things are like this."

If she let him in now he'd see everything, _know_ everything. But how long could she really keep him away? She finally stepped back and walked towards her living room leaving the door open. Sam followed her without hesitation.

He found her with her back to him, arms crossed and head down. "What do you want Sam?"

He stood a few feet away from her. "First, I want you to look at me." He waited a few seconds but she didn't turn around. His voice was low when he spoke again. "Look, I know things haven't been great with us but I just...I don't understand. You used to talk to me about everything." He took a few steps closer and put his hand on her shoulder.

Andy pulled away when he touched her; his gasp of surprise didn't go unnoticed. "Sam, I can't anymore. I don't know what to tell you. This is what you wanted."

He shook his head. "I _never_ wanted this, this awkwardness between us Andy. _Never. _I'll apologize every day for the rest of our lives for the way things went after Luke if things can go back to the way they were. If we can at least be friends again."

Tears were rolling down her cheeks now. "It's not just your fault and things will never be the same."

He gently put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. "Please just look at me." She shook her head. "I'll leave if you just look at me and tell me you don't want me here." He could feel her shaking.

Andy stepped all the way to him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He was caught off guard but he wrapped her up just as tight in his arms and kissed the top of her head. In his arms was the only place she had ever felt truly safe. "Promise me you won't do anything." He tried to pull her back but she clung tightly to him. "Promise me."

He took a deep breath. "I don't even understand what you mean. Won't do what? You know I'd never force myself on you Andy."

She nodded into his chest. "Of course. That's not what I mean though."

He hugged her a little tighter and kissed the top of her head. "Sweetheart, please just tell me. I'll promise whatever you want, just talk to me."

She let her arms drop from around him and took two steps back. "It's...it's embarrassing and all I want is to forget it ever happened ok? So you promise?"

His chest tightened at her words and he barely got out. "I promise."

Andy looked up at him and saw absolute confusion then pure rage cross his face. His eyes raked over her; black eye and bruised arms. Not just any kind of bruise but hand prints. He growled as he stepped closer. "_What the fuck happened to you?"_ He remembered the scene from earlier with Ollie. "Did Raines do this to you?"

Andy could feel the rage rolling off Sam. "It's ok Sam."

His jaw clenched together. "In what fucking universe is this ok? Jesus Andy! Please tell me you filed a complaint against him?"

Andy pulled back a little and wrapped her arms around herself again. "I did."

He could barely hear her, could tell that he was probably scaring her. "Not that this isn't bad enough but did he do anything else? Did he...?" It made him sick to think of the other things that could've been done to her.

She shook her head. "No. Nothing else, I promise."

Sam took a few steps back and ran his hands across his face. "What the hell happened?"

She sat down on her couch. "We were at the Penny last night, just hanging out like always. He went through the academy with us so he knows everyone. He got mad because some of the guys from the division came over and hugged me. We took a cab here because we'd both had too much to drink and...and he just snapped. Grabbed me by the arms and started yelling, then he back handed me. My neighbors heard and they called the police. I called Frank and he called Oliver."

Sam had been standing with his head against the wall. "Why not me Andy?"

She sighed and put her head in her hands. "I was afraid of what you'd do to him and I wasn't going to drag you into my problems again. Can't keep relying on you to save me every time I screw up."

He turned to face her, his voice cracking. "I would've been here. I would've done anything you wanted or needed."

She was crying again. Her voice cracked as she said. "I know and that's why I couldn't."

He walked over and knelt in front of her, cupping her face and running the pad of his thumb over her bruised cheek. "Andy, I'm right here, right now. I'm never going anywhere again unless you tell me to."

She finally looked up into his warm eyes, the look that he used to give her before everything went to hell. She whispered. "_Don't leave me Sam_."

He tilted her head up more and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Not without a fight."

Andy wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Sam."

He scooped her up into his arms, stood up and sat down with her in his lap. "This isn't your fault sweetheart and I'm sorry too."

She curled into him and buried her face in his neck again. They were quiet for a few minutes; Andy finally moved to straddle his lap. She smiled when he cupped her face and his eyes roamed over her features. "You really ok?"

She nodded and leaned in to kiss him, whispering against his lips. "I love you Sam."

His breath caught at her words and the fact that she was kissing him. He barely breathed out. "_Andy_..."

She kissed him deeply again. "You don't have to say anything." She kissed him again. "I just need you to know that's how I feel about you. I'm tired of hiding, tired of faking it. I..."

Sam covered her lips with his and kissed her hard, brushing his tongue across her lips. They got lost in each other for a few minutes before he pulled back and brushed his nose across hers. His heart thudding as he uttered the words that he'd never said to a woman other than his sister. "I love you too Andy. Have since the day you busted that crappy lock."

The smile that spread across her beautiful face made him chuckle. "_Sam..."_ Her smile turned to a worried frown. "You don't have to say it just because I did. I..."

He kissed her quiet again. "Andy, the only woman I've ever said that to is my sister, of course in a different way but I do. I love you."

Sam spent the night holding her tight. She was only weeks away from getting cut loose and it was important to both of them to keep the other out of trouble. Everyone knew that things were back to normal the second they walked in the station though. Frank was relieved because he didn't know exactly how much longer he could handle the two of them like that.

The night they were cut loose they all went to the Penny to celebrate; one big table instead of the usual spilt. Sam had his arm draped over the back of Andy's chair, hand lightly rubbing circles on her shoulder. The place was pretty busy so they didn't think anything when they heard a loud group walk in.

Oliver glared at the door and Andy tensed as he said. "_What the hell are they doing here_?"

Sam turned to see four guys from 27 Division, including the one Andy had been seeing, the one that had hurt her. He had the nerve to actually walk over to their table. "Hey Sweetheart!" He leaned in like he was going to kiss Andy on the cheek and Sam slid off his chair, putting his hand on Raines' chest.

Sam stood between them and crossed his arms. "You need to walk away."

Raines chuckled and shook his head, looking around him to Andy. "I'll leave if _she_ wants me to."

Andy shook her head at his stupidity. "I have nothing to say to you Jason."

He smirked as he said. "You sure had a lot to say the last night we were in bed together."

Sam growled, Oliver and the other guys stepped around the table. Oliver held up his hands. "Are you stupid?" He stepped in front of Sam more. "You already have a complaint against you. Don't make this worse than it already is."

Chris had moved to stand next to Oliver. Andy had always been like a sister to him and he had no problem standing up for her. Raines elbowed one of his friends. "She's a piece of work. We went through the academy together, was even a tease then. I mean look at that guy." He nodded towards Sam. "She's had him dangling since her first day. I know how it feels man. She's pretty easy so it won't be long now til she gives it up."

Gail had slipped around the wall of guys and out of nowhere her fist made contact with his nose, effectively breaking it. "Only WE get to call her a slut, asshole."

He doubled over in pain as the blood flowed from his nose. "You bitch!"

Gail shook her hand and scoffed. "Tell me something I _don't _know."

One of his buddies said. "You'll never get away with this."

She cackled. "I'm a Peck dumbass. I'm pretty sure I will. Now get the hell out of our bar."

The entire bar erupted in cheers and claps as the four guys from 27 walked out. Needless to say Gail drank for free that night.

After about an hour Sam leaned over and whispered. "You ready to go?" She gave him a small smile and nodded. He nuzzled her neck before he kissed her cheek. "Ok. I'm gonna go pay our tab. I'll be right back." She kissed him quick before he moved away. His smile made her turn 10 shades of red.

He took care of their tab and threw some into the pool for Peck's tab as well. Andy slid off her stool as he walked back over. "I think we're going to get out of here."

Oliver shook hands with him and hugged Andy. "Congratulations McNally, all of you." He looked around to the other rookies. "You guys...you've done us proud."

Sam nodded in agreement. "I just want to say thanks to all of you, for everything." He especially made eye contact with Gail. He never thought he could be surprised by a Peck but she stepped up tonight. They finished with their good nights and walked out hand in hand. Sam helped Andy into his truck and climbed in his side. He didn't ask where she wanted to go; he just pulled out of the lot and turned for her place.

Andy didn't notice where they were going until he put the truck in park. She looked a little confused. "I thought..."

He climbed out and walked around to her side opening her door. He held out his hand and smiled. "Come on."

She took his hand and they walked up to her place. They stopped outside her door, she unlocked it and then turned back to him, and they stared at each other for a few minutes. He could see how nervous she was. "Sam..."

He leaned in and kissed her softly as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I had a good time tonight."

She laughed and shook her head. "Really?" He bit the inside of his cheek as he nodded. "You...thank you for...for..." She couldn't find the words.

He kissed the tip of her nose. "It took everything I had not to kill that guy Andy. You didn't need me making matters worse and you never have to thank me for being there. I know we really haven't talked about what was going to happen with us once you were cut loose but..." She nodded. "Just know that I'm ready whenever you are, no pressure, ok?" She smiled and nodded again. His eyes lit up as he leaned in for another kiss. Her heart soared because she could _finally _be with him. "Get some sleep beautiful. I'll pick you up in the morning.

He took a step back and she grabbed him. "Stay."

He was a little surprised. "You sure?"

She nodded as she wrapped her arms tightly around him and kissed him. "I want _you_ Sam."

He opened her door, picked her up and carried her inside. This was their night and they were going to make the most of it. He put her down by her bed. Watching each other they remember a night not all that long ago where they were in a similar situation. This night though, nothing and no one would hold them back.

Sam remembers her soft warm skin, how her hands felt on him and how amazing her lips felt. Andy remembers his muscular chest and arms and how his lips made her feel more alive than she ever had.

She sees how hesitant he is, wanting to make sure that this, that _they _are what she wants. Andy runs her hands down his chest and pulls his shirt out of his pants. He groans a little as he remembers the last time they were skin to skin. She doesn't waste time tugging his shirt over his head. "I want you Sam."

He smiles as she tugs her own shirt off. Undressing her is something he's dreamt about since the moment he saw her. He pulls her to him and kisses her deeply.

She reaches back for her bra clasps and he stops her. "Let me." It only takes seconds for his expert fingers to have the clasps loose, those same gun calloused fingers slowly remove the steely blue lace bra. Her soft flushed skin takes his breath away. "You're so beautiful." He has to see all of her now so he slowly undresses her, admiring every single inch of her.

Andy had goose bumps watching and feeling Sam undress her. She'd never felt so admired by anyone. He took her hand and walked her the few steps to the bed, pulling her down with him.

He took his time with her, relished every moan, gasp, and _Sam_ that crossed her beautiful lips. And she gave as much as she took, making him _feel_ more than he ever had with someone. They truly were a perfect match. They made love and fell asleep tangled up in each other's arms.


End file.
